Pain, Stigma & Gender in Healthcare

[3 minutes read]

I recently read Pain and Prejudice by Gabrielle Jackson and found it illuminating and enraging. The book is a combination of memoir and research-based social and medical criticism, and it left me horrified yet determined.

I was especially struck by the huge gaps in medical research about and with females and women. Learning about how the male mind-body has been rendered prototype by our medical system, makes one question a lot about their training.

Pain and Prejudice thoroughly exposes the history of hysteria, revealing how medicine in general, and psychiatry in particular, has weaponized women’s and female diagnoses over generations.

This history has initially brought sadness to my gut, a twisting discomfort and heaviness about all those people over the history who have been gaslit, ignored, institutionalised, and abused, due to their mind-bodies.

I am left with more than sadness though, because as a disabled psychologist I feel a responsibility, which is also my great privilege, to change how we do healthcare.

After reading Pain and Prejudice I also read Laura Pettenuzzo’s short memoir piece about BPD which reveals how medical stigma affects disabled women, especially when they have a BPD diagnosis.

We can no longer accept healthcare that treats any human as less than. We must demand equitable healthcare for everyone. As both Pain and Prejudice and Pettenuzzo’s piece demonstrate, women and girls’ conditions have been, and still are, widely ignored and weaponised.

Although we don’t have enough research yet to support many people who experience conditions such as endometriosis and ME/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, we sure have enough humanity to do our very best to try.

For me, this means constantly examining my unconscious biases, and avoiding generalisations in support and education. It means questioning research that I read, searching for and always amplifying living and lived experiences. It means I look at everything with a question mark – asking why people are experiencing their lives and bodies, and how they would like things to change.

Practising healthcare in a non-judgemental, and critical thinking manner, is every health and allied health professional’s responsibility. As practitioners, we have the power to change the unjust history of stigma, gender and pain.

I continue to work every day to make Kultivate the safe place you deserve. For those of us who have been excluded from medical treatment, research and society as a whole, there is nothing more important than knowing we are safe.

My greatest dream is for every person to feel safe to get their needs met. Everyone deserves to thrive.

Liel Bridgford

Psychologist, Writer, Educator

Kultivate Founder & Director

Chronic Illness and Mental Health: Real-Life Advice from a Psychologist Who’s Been There

When receiving a diagnosis of a chronic physical condition, most people focus on the physical and practical impact on their life. What is often missed by both the professionals and the person getting diagnosed is the mental health impact of this process.

Our psychologist Lizzie Cupper has first hand experience with receiving a diagnosis of a chronic condition, and we sat with her for a chat about her experience and tips.

Lizzie is a proud country girl who grew up in the Mallee and now lives with her two happy (aka: spoiled) cats. Her favourite food is mushrooms and her role model is Rihanna. In Lizzie’s words ‘she is just super cool, and we are nothing alike’.

In 2012, Lizzie was diagnosed with a chronic illness. She described this time as ‘going into ‘a panic/survival mode – postponing my postgraduate studies as I tried to prioritise seeing family and thinking about any “bucket list” items. With the advantage of hindsight, I can look back on that scared, recently married young woman and reflect on how far I have come.’

When we asked what she wishes every disabled person knew about mental health she described the importance of “putting your own oxygen mask on” first. For Lizzie, this means a Sunday routine of reading the newspaper (an actual physical copy!), watching Insiders on the ABC and having a really long breakfast.

Lizzie has been working in the mental health sector for six years, with experience in supporting people experiencing depression and anxiety, adjustment issues, psychosocial challenges, suicide ideation, disability and more.

We asked Lizzie about her favourite part about working with people with disability and chronic conditions on their mental wellbeing. She described enjoying getting to know people as individuals – ‘not just what challenges they are facing’. This is one of the things we love about our work – it is about people, not problems or numbers.

Lizzie knows first hand that living well with a chronic condition involves more than medical appointments. We asked what her top three self-care strategies that she uses. Lizzie said ‘Try to keep to a simple routine, spend heaps of time with my cats and husband, and eat a whole-foods, plant-based diet.’

To wrap up our conversation, we asked Lizzie for advice for people who are struggling with their disability, or with a new diagnosis. Here’s what she said: ‘It’s a deeply personal thing but I guess, just take your time with it. When you are ready, perhaps choose one trusted person to share how you’re feeling and ask them to check in with you from time to time.’

[This blog was originally written by Liel Bridgford and the Kultivate team for ECTRIMS. Kultivate is a proud patient Community Day Supporting Partner.]

Make the most of the online disability community

[4 minutes read]

A few of my clients recently tolds me about the negative experiences they had with other disabled people, mostly online. The online space is filled with wonderful things and people, but it is also, just like our real world, filled with ableism, trauma and internalised ableism.

My personal experience with the disability community has been dotted with wonderful moments of joy, acceptance, understanding, camaraderie, validation, and bonding, while sprinkled with the exposure to internalised ableism, trauma dumping, inspiration porn, anger, and even bullying.

It took me a few years to learn how to manage the complexity of the online disability space. I am still learning of course, especially within the rapidly changing online world, yet the following tips can be useful as a guide for any online space you are in or considering joining.

Spot the ableism – before or upon joining an online space or group, spend some time observing the content others are creating or sharing. Ableism without warning, or internalised ableism that goes unacknowledged, are red flags. For instance, I recommend staying away from a group filled with people sharing their grief about their children being disabled.

Search for balance – online (just like physical) spaces for disabled people should have some balance between the hard stuff like discrimination with the beautiful stuff like disabled pride or joy.

Check who has created and manages the space – online spaces created by and for disabled people are more likely to be useful for fellow disabled people. They are more likely to be balanced, and add value to your disabled life.

Set yourself some guiding principles – to manage the ableism you inevitably will come across. For instance, avoid looking at particular groups after dark, to make sure you don’t get intense emotional responses before bedtime. Other principles you can consider are calling out ableism only when you have available support through the day to debrief.

Know when to leave – give yourself permission to leave a space at any time if it stops being useful for your wellbeing. There is nothing wrong with unfollowing someone or leaving a group that makes you feel worse or is contributing to your internalised ableism for instance. It is useful to think about the big picture. If you leave most spaces, it may be useful to search for an alternative to make sure you stay connected and well.

The online space has given so many of us the ability to connect with fellow disabled people, to learn about ableism, find our voice, form friendships and nurture our special interests.

If you are looking for a safe and nurturing space to connect with other disabled people, check out our groups here and register your interest to join the next one.

You deserve to feel safe and connected, no matter where you are.

Liel Bridgford

Psychologist, Writer, Educator

Kultivate Founder & Director

Disability adjustment & you

By Liel Bridgford [3 minutes read]

Is it normal to be anxious or depressed when you live with disability or when you just received a new diagnosis or experience a relapse?

*[a white disabled person traveling in their wheelchair on a bike path on a road, their crutches connected to the back of the chair, as they’re heading towards a pedestrian crossing.]*

It’s a really understandable to be sad and angry, confused or anxious. But, you don’t have to feel like that forever.

You can reach a point where you can live well with disability. It is possible to be happy and adjusted while living with disability.

To get there, you can work on practicing acceptance. This starts with talking about how you feel, with allowing yourself to experience the grief and shock with someone that you feel safe with.

It is also normal for grief responses to return when we experience a relapse, or new symptoms or receive an additional diagnosis. If this happens for you, it doesn’t mean you are back in ‘square one’ or will never be happy again. All it means is that you have a natural response to a difficult situation, while living in an ableist society that reinforces your internalised ableism.

Each time a response like this appears, practice making room for it, creating art with it, talking about it and practice self-compassion to help get through this difficult time. Self-compassionate actions can include anything from a positive mantra like ‘I’m here for myself’, to taking time off responsibilties, to eating your favourite snack.

Learning disability acceptance tools and practicing regularly will help you adjust to changes more effectively and live more meaningfully – no matter your diagnoses, no matter your symptoms.

Having the right support around you is also key. Take your time to think about what you need, what you are missing and reach out whenever possible. Social connections, finding your people and having the right help for your needs are also essential for your social and emotional wellbeing. You can start by reaching out to a GP, friend, or online support groups for disabled people.

Eventually you can reach a point of living well and meaningfully with disability. You most definitely deserve to.

Liel Bridgford

Psychologist, Writer, Educator

Kultivate Founder & Director

From Shame to Pride

By Liel Bridgford [4 minutes read]

As a kid all I ever wanted to be seen as was ‘normal’. I carefully chose my clothes to hide my leg, I would always tuck my leg under or behind me. I was keenly and constantly aware of other people’s gaze. At the slightest hint that someone was looking towards my leg or staring at the way I walked, I would avert my own gaze, trying to bury my shame.

More than three decades into living in a disabled body, I have now been proudly selected as an honoree for Diversability’s D-30 Disability Impact list! This feels like the perfect celebration of Disability Pride Month.

D-30 Disability Impact List Honoree - Liel Bridgford, Kultivate Founder and Director — *D-30 Disability Impact List Honoree – Liel Bridgford, Kultivate Founder and Director*

Today I am prouder than ever to call myself a disabled person who looks straight into people’s eyes if they stare, talk about disabilities openly and dress to express my personality, uneven legs, feet and all.

Getting to this point was not easy, nor automatic. I was not raised with disability pride, nor did I come to know about it until well into adulthood. Grief, anger, sadness and frustrations were and still are a part of my life. Living in this world, particularly as a disabled person, is hard. What I have learnt over the years though, is how to live the most meaningful life I possibly can.

The disability community has taught me about acceptance. I do not accept things that we should and can change like inaccessibility, abuse, or neglect of disabled people.

But I now accept and do not fight with the fact that I was born different. That my leg has a few bones ‘missing’, that my ankle has zero movement, or that I will likely need orthopaedic, custom-made shoes for the rest of my life. I embrace these facts by practising disability acceptance daily. For me, this means wearing shorts that reveal my legs, using my walking stick, telling randoms at the playground that I am disabled, and more.

By the way, we have recently created an FAQ page to answer your most common questions about disability, mental health and more. Disability acceptance is a common theme so check out the new videos HERE to learn more.

I now have dedicated my life’s mission to improving the lives of disabled people. This International recognition of The D-30 Disability Impact List for disabled leaders feels like a huge log onto my motivational fire to make disabled lives better. I plan to continue working tirelessly to improve disabled lives, and hope to leave this world more equitable, accessible, safe and wonderful, especially for multiply marginalised disabled people.

The D-30 list this year is filled with determined, creative, courageous and passionate people including Chloé Hayden and Sonny Jane Wise who I am a huge fan of.

Thank you to those who nominated me, and everyone supporting me, my work and the disability community at large.

Little Liel would not have believed that as an adult I’ll be so loud & proud about being disabled, and be fortunate enough to support other disabled folks daily.

To learn more about the list and read about the other honorees visit: https://mydiversability.com/2023-d30-honorees

Happy Disability Pride Month!

Liel Bridgford

Psychologist, Writer, Educator

Kultivate Founder and Director

Pain, Stigma & Gender in Healthcare

Chronic Illness and Mental Health: Real-Life Advice from a Psychologist Who’s Been There

Make the most of the online disability community

Disability adjustment & you

From Shame to Pride

Acknowledgement of Country