Chronic Illness and Mental Health: Real-Life Advice from a Psychologist Who’s Been There

When receiving a diagnosis of a chronic physical condition, most people focus on the physical and practical impact on their life. What is often missed by both the professionals and the person getting diagnosed is the mental health impact of this process.

Our psychologist Lizzie Cupper has first hand experience with receiving a diagnosis of a chronic condition, and we sat with her for a chat about her experience and tips.

Lizzie is a proud country girl who grew up in the Mallee and now lives with her two happy (aka: spoiled) cats. Her favourite food is mushrooms and her role model is Rihanna. In Lizzie’s words ‘she is just super cool, and we are nothing alike’.

In 2012, Lizzie was diagnosed with a chronic illness. She described this time as ‘going into ‘a panic/survival mode – postponing my postgraduate studies as I tried to prioritise seeing family and thinking about any “bucket list” items. With the advantage of hindsight, I can look back on that scared, recently married young woman and reflect on how far I have come.’

When we asked what she wishes every disabled person knew about mental health she described the importance of “putting your own oxygen mask on” first. For Lizzie, this means a Sunday routine of reading the newspaper (an actual physical copy!), watching Insiders on the ABC and having a really long breakfast.

Lizzie has been working in the mental health sector for six years, with experience in supporting people experiencing depression and anxiety, adjustment issues, psychosocial challenges, suicide ideation, disability and more.

We asked Lizzie about her favourite part about working with people with disability and chronic conditions on their mental wellbeing. She described enjoying getting to know people as individuals – ‘not just what challenges they are facing’. This is one of the things we love about our work – it is about people, not problems or numbers.

Lizzie knows first hand that living well with a chronic condition involves more than medical appointments. We asked what her top three self-care strategies that she uses. Lizzie said ‘Try to keep to a simple routine, spend heaps of time with my cats and husband, and eat a whole-foods, plant-based diet.’

To wrap up our conversation, we asked Lizzie for advice for people who are struggling with their disability, or with a new diagnosis. Here’s what she said: ‘It’s a deeply personal thing but I guess, just take your time with it. When you are ready, perhaps choose one trusted person to share how you’re feeling and ask them to check in with you from time to time.’

[This blog was originally written by Liel Bridgford and the Kultivate team for ECTRIMS. Kultivate is a proud patient Community Day Supporting Partner.]

Make the most of the online disability community

[4 minutes read]

A few of my clients recently tolds me about the negative experiences they had with other disabled people, mostly online. The online space is filled with wonderful things and people, but it is also, just like our real world, filled with ableism, trauma and internalised ableism.

My personal experience with the disability community has been dotted with wonderful moments of joy, acceptance, understanding, camaraderie, validation, and bonding, while sprinkled with the exposure to internalised ableism, trauma dumping, inspiration porn, anger, and even bullying.

It took me a few years to learn how to manage the complexity of the online disability space. I am still learning of course, especially within the rapidly changing online world, yet the following tips can be useful as a guide for any online space you are in or considering joining.

Spot the ableism – before or upon joining an online space or group, spend some time observing the content others are creating or sharing. Ableism without warning, or internalised ableism that goes unacknowledged, are red flags. For instance, I recommend staying away from a group filled with people sharing their grief about their children being disabled.

Search for balance – online (just like physical) spaces for disabled people should have some balance between the hard stuff like discrimination with the beautiful stuff like disabled pride or joy.

Check who has created and manages the space – online spaces created by and for disabled people are more likely to be useful for fellow disabled people. They are more likely to be balanced, and add value to your disabled life.

Set yourself some guiding principles – to manage the ableism you inevitably will come across. For instance, avoid looking at particular groups after dark, to make sure you don’t get intense emotional responses before bedtime. Other principles you can consider are calling out ableism only when you have available support through the day to debrief.

Know when to leave – give yourself permission to leave a space at any time if it stops being useful for your wellbeing. There is nothing wrong with unfollowing someone or leaving a group that makes you feel worse or is contributing to your internalised ableism for instance. It is useful to think about the big picture. If you leave most spaces, it may be useful to search for an alternative to make sure you stay connected and well.

The online space has given so many of us the ability to connect with fellow disabled people, to learn about ableism, find our voice, form friendships and nurture our special interests.

If you are looking for a safe and nurturing space to connect with other disabled people, check out our groups here and register your interest to join the next one.

You deserve to feel safe and connected, no matter where you are.

Liel Bridgford

Psychologist, Writer, Educator

Kultivate Founder & Director

Thriving After an MS Diagnosis: Three Pillars to Support Your Wellbeing

By Liel Bridgford [2 min read]

First published on the REACH-MS website.

Receiving a new diagnosis of a condition like Multiple Sclerosis (MS) can be a life-defining moment. Feelings of anxiety, anger, shock and sadness are common.

When people see us after a new MS diagnosis, they often experience intense anxiety about the future, and confusion about how to accept the new version of themselves.

Working through a new diagnosis takes time, but also support and the right tools. To adjust well, it can be helpful to think about the following three pillars of thriving.

The first pillar is formal support which can include a nurse, a psychologist or an occupational therapist for example. This is about making sure you have the people and environments around you to thrive. Who do you have in your life who is helpful to living well, and who else might you need?

The second pillar is social connections, and can include pets, partners, friends, colleagues or neighbours for instance. Who do you feel connected to? Is there someone you can reach out to when things get hard?

The final pillar for thriving is engage better – which is about improving our skills that support our wellbeing. These skills include asking for help, communicating our needs and accepting our diagnosis or symptoms.

To engage better, it can be helpful to practice self-compassion and manage our internalised stigma. What does your mind tell you about your diagnosis? Is there something kinder you can add? A simple mantra such as ‘I’m good enough just as I am’ can be a starting point.

With access to connections, support and effective tools – many people thrive. Having MS or any neurological condition is not the end – it can be the start of greater self-care, acceptance and connection with community.

If you don’t know where to start – reach out to a trusted GP or a disability-friendly psychologist.

Liel Bridgford

Psychologist | Writer | Educator

Kultivate Founder & Director

Chronic Illness and Mental Health: Real-Life Advice from a Psychologist Who’s Been There

Make the most of the online disability community

Thriving After an MS Diagnosis: Three Pillars to Support Your Wellbeing

Acknowledgement of Country